% This issue in disscussion, I aim to talk about the state of Britains"National Health service, and I ask
"Is a goldfish better than a hamster?"% Firstly, I am proud of the National%Health Service. After all, where else%in the world can you wash the carpet,#make love, eat it, lightly sprinkle%with powdered magnesium sulphate, buy%a pizza, go fishing, write a bible on$the back of a postage stamp and wipe%out smallpox at the same time? Imean,$the whole of France and its colonies$couldn't replace Andrew "Marlborough!street and a packet of strawberry"chewits" Jones at number 11 in the$Pakistani batting line up, and thus,$cant really be called a country with$a national health service. (hold on, what does France have to do with"this? -P.V.F.C.) After all, it was$England who beat West Germany 4.2 in#1966, not the United Arals Emirates!with their hypodermic needles and%wickerwork baskets. It just seems the$world is too critical of everything,$and nobody these days can appreciate"a good plastic spoon when they see
one.# Now, for my second indentation, I ask "is a goldfish better than a#hamster?" The old woman sat next to#me on the bus has now moved, and is"muttering "Damned communists! They#just can't stop sending those spies!over" The issue is, though simply
put, a very difficult one. The"question is too loose to answer in$all its entirety. We need to look at#the question from several different
angles.# Say, if you were about to recieve%your degree at Oxford University, and you were offered the choice of a$goldfish or a hamster to put in your#shirt sleeve as you shook the Queen Mothers hand. Personally I would#prefer a hamster, as a goldfish may!run out of your sleeve and do its$Barry Manilow impersonation right in#the middle of your awards ceremony.
Wheras the Hamster would make a"useful container for holding paper
clips, salad dressing, electric#fences etc. Nevertheless, the whole"atom, having such a small relative
atomic weight would be prone to cracking under the strain of the!fourth polystyrene cup to contend"with. Even though she dumped me, I
could have opened the lunchbox#myself, and so, the hamster is also"an advantage. Miss J. Conchieto to
serve please.# The question could also relate to$the well being and general health of%the animal. "Is a hamster better that#a goldfish?" would obviously prompt the reply "No" if the hamster in#question was Cecil, the 24 year old Pekanese who is suffering from a%collapsed lung through too much roast
potatoes, and the goldfish was"Phillipa, the olympic 200m hurdles"champion. Creasote, anyway, should#not be used in a lemon and potasium facepack as it spoils the rather
placid felling of a young girls$buttocks in the third cubicle to the
left.$ Oh damn. I've started on about the"National Health service again now!
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